How to talk to your pediatrician about milestones

Open communication with your pediatrician is key to understanding and supporting your child's development. This guide provides practical tips on how to effectively discuss developmental milestones with your child's healthcare provider.

Introduction

As a parent or caregiver, it's natural to feel a mix of excitement and concern as your child reaches various developmental milestones. These milestones—such as smiling, sitting up, or speaking their first words—serve as important indicators of your child's growth. However, every child develops at their own pace, and it's common to have questions or concerns along the way.

It’s important to come to your pediatrician with your concerns, but it’s also equally important to come well organized. This guide discusses how to understand milestones, talk about them, follow up, and advocate for you and your child. Let’s dive in!

Understand What Milestones Are (and Aren’t)

Developmental milestones are behaviors and physical skills that typically emerge in a predictable sequence as children grow. These milestones span several key areas of development, typically divided into movement and motor skills, social-emotional skills, cognitive skills, and language skills. Milestones vary per age group and per child, however, it may look like walking, babbling, or interacting with other children. Coral Care provides milestone checklists for a variety of age groups - check them out here!

Regardless of how many or how few milestones your child hits, or doesn’t hit, it is important to remember that milestones are general guidelines - not hard rules. Children may reach them at slightly different ages, and variations are often normal. For instance, while many children start walking between 9 and 15 months, some may take a few months longer without any cause for concern. Regardless of if your child is over performing or a late bloomer, there will probably come a time you want to discuss your child’s progress with a pediatrician. Below, we delve into how to go about that, but more importantly, when to go about it.

Preparing for the Appointment

Once you decide it’s time to meet with your pediatrician, take some time to observe and document your child's behaviors and skills. This preparation will help you communicate effectively and ensure that no concerns are overlooked.

One of the most effective ways to do this is by keeping a milestone journal. This doesn’t have to be complicated—it can be as simple as a notebook or a digital document where you jot down the dates and descriptions of new skills or behaviors as they appear. For example, you might note the day your baby first rolled over, said “mama,” or responded to their name. Over time, this journal becomes a valuable snapshot of your child’s progress, helping you spot patterns and remember important moments you might otherwise forget.

In addition to a journal, digital tools can offer even more structured support. The CDC’s Milestone Tracker app is a free and easy-to-use resource that helps parents monitor developmental milestones from 2 months to 5 years old. It includes checklists for different ages, tips for encouraging development, and alerts when it may be time to talk to a healthcare provider. Using an app like this not only keeps your observations organized but also aligns them with expert-backed guidelines, giving you greater confidence in what to expect at each stage.

Finally, it’s important to take note of any specific concerns you may have about your child’s development. These might include delays in walking or talking, differences in how they connect or play with others, or behaviors that seem significantly different from those of other children the same age. Writing down these concerns ahead of time allows you to bring them up clearly during your pediatrician appointment, rather than trying to recall everything in the moment. This level of preparation not only empowers you as a parent but also gives your pediatrician the information they need to provide thoughtful, individualized guidance.

How to Bring It Up With Your Pediatrician

Starting the conversation about milestones can feel daunting, but remember that your pediatrician is there to support you. Approach the discussion with openness and curiosity. When talking to your pediatrician about developmental milestones, it’s important to be as clear and detailed as possible. Instead of using broad statements like, “I’m worried about my child’s development,” try offering specific examples, such as, “I’ve noticed my child isn’t yet saying simple words like ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ at 12 months. Is that typical?” Being precise helps your pediatrician better understand your concerns and determine whether further evaluation is needed. 

It’s also helpful to ask open-ended questions that invite conversation and guidance—for instance, “Can you help me understand what milestones we should be looking for at this stage?” This encourages a collaborative discussion rather than a yes-or-no exchange. Finally, share any patterns or behaviors you’ve observed, even if they seem small or subtle. You might say, “My child doesn’t seem interested in playing with other children,” or “They haven’t started walking yet.” These observations, especially when discussed in context, give your pediatrician valuable insight into the whole picture of your child’s development

What to Expect From Your Pediatrician

During your visit, your pediatrician will typically assess your child’s development through a combination of observation and standardized screening tools. These assessments are designed to identify whether your child is meeting age-appropriate milestones or if there are areas that may need additional support. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, routine developmental screenings are recommended at 9, 18, and 30 months, with specific autism screenings advised at 18 and 24 months. These evaluations offer a structured way to track your child’s progress and catch potential delays early, when intervention can be most effective.

If any concerns arise during these screenings, your pediatrician may refer you to early intervention services or developmental specialists for a more in-depth evaluation. This doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong, but it allows professionals to take a closer look and provide targeted support if needed. On the other hand, if your child is developing within a typical range, your pediatrician will likely offer reassurance and provide guidance on how to continue supporting your child’s growth at home. Whether the outcome is a referral or simply encouragement, the goal is always to ensure your child has the best possible foundation for healthy development.

How to Follow Up

After your appointment with the pediatrician, your role in supporting your child’s development doesn’t stop—it continues at home, where day-to-day interactions play a powerful role. It’s important to follow through on any recommendations your pediatrician may have given you, whether that’s introducing new developmental activities, practicing certain skills, or simply observing your child more closely. Engaging in activities that promote growth, such as reading aloud, singing songs, stacking blocks, or playing simple games, can help reinforce important skills like language, motor coordination, and social interaction. These moments not only support development but also strengthen your bond with your child through positive, responsive engagement.

Additionally, make a habit of staying organized when it comes to follow-up care. If your pediatrician recommends a follow-up screening, referral to a specialist, or a developmental recheck, be sure to mark it on your calendar and keep notes about your child’s progress in the meantime. Staying informed is equally important—resources like the CDC’s Learn the Signs. Act Early program or Coral Care’s milestone trackers offer milestone checklists, activity ideas, and clear guidance on what to look for at each stage of your child’s development. By continuing to monitor progress, staying proactive, and using trusted resources, you can feel confident that you're giving your child the support they need to thrive.

When to Trust Your Gut

As a parent, your instincts are one of the most valuable tools you have when it comes to your child’s development. You know their personality, habits, and daily behaviors better than anyone else, which means you're often the first to notice when something feels “off” or different. If you sense that your child isn’t meeting expected milestones or seems to be struggling in certain areas—whether it's with speech, movement, or social interaction—it’s important to take those feelings seriously. Early intervention can make a significant difference in supporting a child’s development, especially when challenges are identified and addressed as soon as possible.

Don't be afraid to advocate for your child, especially if you feel your concerns aren’t being fully heard. While many pediatricians are supportive and proactive, there may be times when you need to push a little harder for answers. If you're not getting the guidance you need, consider asking for a referral to a developmental specialist who can take a closer look. Seeking a second opinion or additional support doesn’t mean you’re overreacting—it means you’re taking responsible steps to ensure your child gets the best care possible. Trusting your instincts and speaking up can be the first and most important step toward helping your child thrive.

Conclusion

Discussing developmental milestones with your pediatrician is an essential part of supporting your child's growth. By preparing for appointments, asking thoughtful questions, and trusting your observations, you can ensure that your child receives the care and attention they need to thrive. Remember, you're not alone—your pediatrician is a valuable partner in your child's developmental journey.